Featured Poems: The Artist's Paintings
Burning Alive
I want to hold on I really do
But I'm losing strength in my fingers
My blisters are aching, they have completely burned away at my skin
I can see my bones, I'm smelling a lingering smoke from within
I'm burning alive
But I promise you l don't want to die
I don't want to let go
But there's not much left of me to hold on
But I know I'll die trying
Must I reach this point?
Where are you exactly?
Where is your mind?
Have you not seen my hanging body, holding for dear life this entire time?
I'll use the burning of my body to keep you warm
You don't need to do anything to please me
I'll come back to life with your laugh alone
Will there ever be reason to my flames?
Was I destined to light fire, or was there an option of walking away?
Was my flesh and bones actually meant to stay?
Did I commit a mistake I can no longer undertake?
I know in my heart it is you
But you haven't given me anything you give me nothing
You don't reach out to me
You never do
And I'll keep hanging here waiting for you
Just please stop taking so long
My veins are running blue
At least come water down this fire
So l can build my life back up with you
-CF
- Featured in paintings You Never Do, But I’ll Keep Hanging Here, & Waiting For You.
Ocean
Why can't I get over you? What must I do?
I can no longer hold myself together the stream of water can take me away with it
And even through the hard hitting waves I would look for you
I would think about you between breathes
Through my closed eyes I would still see you
I'm not quite over you yet
What a tragedy for you to not love me too
What a tragedy for you to lose someone who holds such heavy care for you
You have no such clue the amount of strength it takes to love you
And everyday that goes by has never once changed my answer
I choose you everyday
but trust me when I tell you I don't want to stay
I know I must go but this stream of water isn't taking me away with it
I can't move without sinking to the very bottom
I'm an ocean
An entire ocean holding your love
I could never dry out
How on earth can I live with all this water now?
-CF
-Featured in painting I'm an Ocean
My Insides
When you laugh my insides sharpen so fast I practically cut myself in half
I feel like I'm half when I speak to you
I feel like I lessen myself so that your able to pour more of you
I want you even if you don't want me to
Even if your eyes sparkle for someone else
My eyes only sparkle for you
I don't know how to leave
I don't know how to make myself want to leave I don't know how I can love someone so much
that doesn't also love me
-CF
-Featured in painting Half
Exhibition
You pull me out of my interior void
You pull me out of how I see myself and you bring me serenity
You help me channel the world for what it is and not what I want it to be
You cushion my fall
You make me feel human.
You make everyone around you feel human
If I could take your mind and soul
Apply it to a canvas
And exhibit who you are
No one could stare too long
Or look too far
No one could handle the beauty,
The true beauty,
That you are.
-CF
-Featured in painting True Beauty
I'm Not Indulging
Why can't I just be over you?
I sit in silence and it's still too loud
There's no escaping, no running away from my thoughts
words glued shut in my mouth that I can't open
everything left unspoken
pain hovers over me like a helicopter that never lands never stops
never turns off
I want to feel better
I want to at least feel okay
I don't want to check the time to see how long left in the day
I don't want time to move while I just stay
I look at the people that love me and I can't love them back
I'm an elder too fragile to move, shaking as I lift weights that could kill me
lifting the strength, it takes me to sync energies
every pound added is another conversation I have to say
I don't want to feel this way
I don't want to talk
I don't want to think
I can hardly breathe
Breathing is hard
I want to be alone
And I don't even want that; that's still more company than I wish to have
I embrace suffering, I rather find myself enjoying it from time to time don't get me wrong
I know suffering is something that will always carry on
But this time, I'm not indulging
this one has twisted my soul and vanished parts of me to places Ive never been,
Places I can't find, and I don't know how to ever get back
I feel like I can no longer return to myself
I can't reach out and grab what I know because I don't recognize anything on the table anymore
I've been cut open to the place of no return
I've felt enough pain to boil over the pot, but the stove still won't turn off
I must keep going I know, but these feelings won't let me be free but never
ever
in my life,
have I felt this terrifyingly empty
-CF
-Featured in painting Place of No Return